Updated · reviewed by the KIDSUP team, Kanata
How to build trust with a child: the short answer
A warm, trusting relationship with parents is essential for a child’s healthy development. Keep communication open and honest: take time every day to talk, show interest in your child’s life, thoughts and feelings, listen to the end, keep your promises and stay calm when you hear bad news. Then the child keeps coming back to you.
Why trust matters for a child 3–8
A child who trusts their parents asks for help sooner, tells you about problems at kindergarten or school, and is more willing to try new things. Ontario’s pedagogy for the early years puts relationships between children, families and educators at the centre of learning, with belonging, a sense of connection to others, as the first of its four foundations.
Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child calls the everyday version of this “serve and return”: the child reaches out with a word, a look or a cry, and an adult responds warmly. These back-and-forth exchanges build the connections that communication and social skills depend on.
Six everyday habits that build trust
- Talk every daySet aside a few minutes with no phone: on the way home, at dinner, before bed. Ask open questions: “What made you laugh today?”
- Listen to the endLet your child finish, even when the story is long. Repeat what you heard: “So the tower fell and you were upset.”
- Name feelingsHelp your child put words to emotions: angry, scared, proud, disappointed. Feelings that have names are easier to handle.
- Keep promisesPromise only what you can do, and do it. The Canadian Paediatric Society puts it simply: say what you mean, mean what you say, and follow through.
- Stay calm with bad newsIf a child is punished for telling the truth, next time they stay silent. Thank them for telling you first, then solve the problem together.
- Show interest in their worldAsk about friends, games and drawings by name. Interest in small things tells the child their life matters to you.
Serve and return in practice
A three-year-old shows you a drawing. You stop, look and ask, “Tell me about it.” The child explains; you answer and ask one more question. That exchange takes a minute, and it tells the child that reaching out to you works.
When to talk to a specialist
If your child has become withdrawn, often hides things or reacts with fear, a conversation with a specialist helps you see what is going on. The KIDSUP team includes educators and psychologists who hold personal consultations for children and parents. Tell us in the request what you would like to discuss, and we will suggest who to meet. The price is given when we call you back.
| Program | Age | Format | Price |
|---|---|---|---|
| Consultation with a psychologist or teacher | Children and parents | One-to-one | On request |
| Early development | 3–6 | Group of up to 15 | $45 |
Programs run 9AM–1PM in English at 150 Katimavik Rd, Kanata. Full list: programs and prices.
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Questions parents ask
Talk every day, listen to the end, name feelings, keep promises and react calmly when the child tells you about a problem. Small daily habits matter more than rare big gestures.
Broken promises, punishment for telling the truth, mocking feelings and not listening. When it happens, admit it, apologise and keep the next promise.
A term from Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child for responsive back-and-forth exchanges between a young child and a caring adult: the child reaches out, the adult responds, and they take turns.
Ask specific questions (“Who did you play with?”), share something about your own day first, and talk during shared activities. If silence comes with fear or withdrawal, book a consultation with our psychologist.
Yes. KIDSUP psychologists and teachers hold one-to-one consultations for children and parents at 150 Katimavik Rd. Send the form or call +1 613-867-7786; the price is on request.
Sources
- Government of Ontario: “How does learning happen? Ontario’s pedagogy for the early years”
- Harvard University, Center on the Developing Child: “Serve and Return”
- Canadian Paediatric Society, Caring for Kids: “Positive discipline for young children” (updated January 2020)
- KIDSUP program pages: early development, group classes, additional services.
Questions about your child? Talk to our team
KIDSUP is an early learning centre for children 3–8 at 150 Katimavik Rd, Kanata. Send the form or call: we call back, answer your questions and suggest a program or a consultation.
